Thursday, May 10, 2012

And now for the moment we've all been waiting for!!!

Alrighty, this is the day we've had:
Colonoscopy (CS) completed. When I work up I was staring straight at the ceiling and it looked like Vandy's ceiling and I had a moment of panic thinking I was there for a Dax procedure and had fallen asleep. They oriented me, told me everything looked great, and told me they'd zapped two polyps.

I came upstairs happy, thinking the awful area of bowel must have been made that way by two nasty polyps, and we celebrated.

In jogs the surgeon. He says, "I guess you've heard the results?" and I say "Yay two polyps!" and he shrugs and says "Likely noncontributory. He wasn't able to high enough to get to the bad section. You can start on clear liquids and work your way up," and then jogged out.

We all breathed a cumulative sigh of "WTH just happened, and what does it mean?"

Nurse brings me a cup of ice and two banana Popsicles. I start having the shooting pains when I start eating them.

Tech takes my temp. It's 100.5.

A dinner tray comes in! My first dinner tray! It's 6 kinds of liquids, but hey it's my first food tray yay!

I decide to try a sip out of the beef broth. OMG it's good. It doesn't burn the back of my throat like the Popsicles. It doesn't burn the top of my stomach like jello. It doesn't make me cramp. OMG I am finally going to eat real food for the first time in 7 days!!!

Then the gastro comes in. Finally, the news we've been waiting for! I put down my broth. "I was pleasantly surprised to get in and find NOTHING at all! There was no inflammation, no signs at all of any of the major things we were looking for. I went way up there, further than I normally do, did tons of biopsies, but everything looks great!"


"Two. One was no big deal. The other one would have probably been a big problem in about 15 years. You'll be getting a scope every 5 years now to get checked."

"Coolio. So, you don't think it's Crohn's or any other type of major issue?"

"No, we'd have most likely seen some other signs. We have to wait for the biopsy results to be sure, but I'm pretty confident."

"Yay! Then why does my stomached still feel exactly the same, why am I having shooting pains still, and what happened to the ginormous super scary section from Monday"

"You probably just have air from the procedure that's causing the discomfort and pain, and maybe it was just some sort of infection that was coming or going or whatever, but you should be good now."

"I am aware of what has feels like. I am aware of what post-colonoscopy gas feels like. I am also aware of exactly what my stomach pains have felt like for the last seven days. And the big scary spots may or may not have been something but we don't know if it was? What test will you run to double check?"

"We're going to wait and see how your stomach feels tomorrow morning and we'll go from there."

"Well what tests can you run?"

"Maybe an abdominal MRI if you feel better."

"An MRI if I feel better? I want to feel better. How bout I get one If I feel worse."

"Okay if you want to lie still for 45 mins."

"I feel like I'd like y'all to run tests until we figure out if Ground Zero disappeared or not. Test my toenails. Test everything. I've been sick for 7 days; I haven't eaten for 7 days, tell me why!"

Then we continued on in the same fashion for a few moments until he left.

I pick back up my warm beef broth. It is sooo good.

Tech walks in, I ask her to take my temp because I'm fevery. She asks to to hold off on the broth so she gets an accurate temp. She comes back with a a thermometer with no temp probes. She leaves and comes back with a thermometer with temp probes, and it's broken. She comes back with a forehead scanner, checks it twice, and it's over 103. She leaves to tell the nurse. I pick up my broth. It's cold now, but dammit it's still good. I'm sipping it when the nurse comes back in with the doc. Doc says he's ordering blood cultures and Cipro and maybe a chest X-ray and another abdominal ct. There might be an infection. Oh!?

The tech takes my temp in my mouth. 100.3. She takes it under my arm. 101.7. Another tech comes in with a good warm bowl of beef broth since my other was ruined. The nurse says, "Don't eat that; I'll come back in 15 mins to take your temp orally again."

Ooooobeetaybe. I haven't eaten for 7 days. Take your time!

She comes back, takes my temp orally, it's 100.4, and she says " We'll use that one; it's in the middle."

Sure sure whatever.

My broth is cold. I have them warm it up. It's the best effing food I have ever had in my entire life. I finish the whole bowl. Still some stomach pains, but no reflux and it doesn't burn. It's my happy food. I am a happy girl.

So, in conclusion: on Monday my intestines looked frightening. Today they looked beautiful. My tummy still hurts. I'm still spiking an occasional temp. A new antibiotic may help resolve it? Rest may resolve it? Yelling at doctors may solve it? There may be nothing there now? There may be something and he didnt check high enough?

Maybe tomorrow we'll have answers. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel better. Today I have Dilaudid, beef broth, my hallucinations, and my mama.

To tomorrow!