Sunday, April 7, 2013

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming

I was talking to a friend earlier today, and that old adage came up again... "Well, you know, God won't give you what you can't handle. He knew what He was doing when He picked you."

It's been addressed before, and it will be addressed again, but I'm going to break it down for you in simple Mollie fashion:

Bitch, please. What a load of crap.

In the beginning it's good for us to hear. I'll admit, I drew strength from people telling me God picked me. Obviously God knows what He's doing, right? God never makes mistakes. But here's the rub... Once you've been told so many times that God picked you, and God did XYZ to you for a reason, you begin to get really pissed off at God for being such a douchebag.

Yeah, I went there. Because, you know what? That's what you imply when my baby is lying there suffering, that God is doing that to him because I can handle it.

Prior to March 23, 2008, I'd have agreed with you. Prior to watching my babies suffer and hearing "Oh this is God's plan" 9000 times from well-meaning souls who didn't know what else to say, I'd have said the same thing. I didn't question, not before that day five years ago. Oh, and don't think I wasn't told to "Be strong and don't question God." I was weak. I questioned. I swore at Him. I questioned Him some more. And do you know what happened? I began to think about God in a new way. I began to understand Him in a different light. I think I got a whole lot closer to the Truth.

Every time you say "God picked you because you were strong" you minimize what we, and everyone else goes through everyday. Five years ago I was you. When you get thrown into a lake you sink or swim. We swam, not because we were strong, but because we didn't want to sink... and some days we still get tired of swimming. My kids are lucky to have us as parents, but you know what? There are children dying everyday because they were not so lucky. And God didn't pick them for that, either.

Five years into this, I tell you I don't think God picked us. Yes, I have a voice, and I use it. I've used my voice to speak out for my children and for others who need voices. I have used my voice to endear my children to people across the country, and give faces to children whom people might have otherwise pitied, or even worse, seen as valueless. God gave me this voice. God has given me every tool I've needed to walk through the storms, but He didn't pick me. I like to think of Him more as my team sponsor. He didn't get us into this mess, but He's got the capital to keep us up and running.

So the next time you, or someone you love, are facing a hardship, please remember this. You are as strong as you decide to be. If you want to swim, by God, swim... And I promise not to tell you God picked you for it, but I can tell you where He keeps the life vests.