Sunday, May 12, 2013

An Ode to my Offspring

An Ode to my Offspring
By: Mollie Mills Sheppard

You've grayed my hair
You've wrecked my skin
Stitches outside
Stitches in
My boobs are rurnt
My hips are too
Those ugly veins
Are big and blue
I was once so nice
And did little bitching
But I now scream obscenities
As my left eye is twitching
I could sleep all night long
By myself if I chose
With no farts in my face
Or getting soaked while I doze
I was pretty and smart 
and energetic and witty
But you stole those from me 
when you fed from my titty
I guess that's just the way life goes 
as a mother
I'm glad it was you
And not any other

Thank God you are cute
Little babies of mine
And for all the good reasons
To drink tequila and wine


Your proud, if not somewhat haggard, mother

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