An Ode to my Offspring

An Ode to my Offspring

By: Mollie Mills Sheppard

You've grayed my hair

You've wrecked my skin

Stitches outside

Stitches in

My boobs are rurnt

My hips are too

Those ugly veins

Are big and blue

I was once so nice

And did little bitching

But I now scream obscenities

As my left eye is twitching

I could sleep all night long

By myself if I chose

With no farts in my face

Or getting soaked while I doze

I was pretty and smart 

and energetic and witty

But you stole those from me 

when you fed from my titty

I guess that's just the way life goes 

as a mother

I'm glad it was you

And not any other

Thank God you are cute

Little babies of mine

And for all the good reasons

To drink tequila and wine

Love,

Your proud, if not somewhat haggard, mother