But of course, I forgot that I have noncompliant children.
They asked me if I wanted an epidural... After having both the twins naturally, my answer was, without hesitation, oh hell yes!
I eventually got the epidural and then I took a nap in between IV alarms and people in and out... I was a little bummed that the contractions had stopped.
Dr. L., or as I call him, Dr. R.(you'll have to figure that one out yourself), came in to see me around 7:45am or so and ordered a pitocin drip...
But I digress. And, I did not, in fact, understand anything else he said that day...
But we'll come back to him in a little bit...
So I'm still just lying around, hanging out with Shep and my mom, trying to figure out when the little monster would make his grand entrance. While we're waiting, two of our old friends from the NICU, Nurse B and the Speech Therapist, came down to say hello. Nurse B said she'd be honored to be in on Ty's delivery, since she was there for both my other two, and the speech therapist says she'd love to hang out, too, you know, in case of any speech therapy-related emergencies.
So I said, what the hell. Why not? And I'm not sure my vagina can perform without an audience, anyway. I'm fairly sure Dax's delivery was listed on TicketMaster.
So the doctor comes back and I haven't really progressed, so he decides to break my water. He does, and then asks me if it had already broken, because there wasn't much fluid.
I reply no, but then we figure it out...
A month prior I had, ahem, sprung a leak, that was checked and there was no amniotic fluid in it. Apparently over the course of the month my plumbing problems had become more interesting. Thankfully our Ty still had plenty of fluid left and all was well.
So then we wait some more.
FINALLY it's time, and my very meager entourage of just one doctor, one husband, a handful of nurses, and a speech therapist, gather around my hoo-haa and Nurse A tells me to start pushing when I feel a contraction.
So, did I mention how awesome my epidural was? They had to TELL ME when I was having a contraction.
I was able to push effectively except for all the times Dr. L kept repeating how "ruvvery" (ahem, "lovely") I was doing while I was pushing, which made me laugh and lose the pushing stamina. No telling how many contractions I missed because of that!!! :)
Then he'd say "Pooosh hhhaaadder," and I'd laugh again.
"Juss one moh pooosh," he said, about 5 "poooshes" in a row.
Finally, at 10:20AM, it's the big one, and I pooosh and pooosh and he says "Pooooosh harder, poooosh harder" and the baby squirts out and he says "Srow down you poooosh too haaaahd!"
And I cracked up :)
I must say, it was awfully nice to have a delivery where my biggest fear was pooping on the table in front of my friends. (They said I didn't. I hope that's true.)
At any rate, Nurse B and the speech therapist completed Ty's assessment, and they concluded he was 7lbs 7oz, 18.5" long with no speech-related issues and gave him to me while Dr. L tried to put my Humpty Dumpty back together again.
And I looked down at Ty in my arms, and I thought, "My lord, this kid looks like a garden gnome."
(Thankfully he grew out of that later:)
So, they cart him off and when I'm able, Nurse A and Shep get me up and help me to the bathroom, where I am able to fully understand the complete and total bloody mess I am. As Nurse A is helping me clean up, she looks up and giggles and says, "Do you think we can still be Facebook friends after this?" :P I told her she was officially from that point on my closest FB friend ever:)
I'll spare you the details of Ty's refusal to drink from the tap and the many hours I spent trying to get him to try. I will tell you that I expressed boob juice into a plastic hospital spoon, and that's how he drank it while we were there since he'd refuse to get it the old fashioned way and I refused to let him have a bottle and take the easy way out.
At any rate, two glorious, short days later, they
And all was well...
And that's our story of Birth #3... Such a fun time :) I can't imagine a life without our precious little Ty!