Sunday, August 29, 2010

Floppin' free after 3

So, yesterday we started my latest endeavor into potty training Dax. I'll be the first to admit that he is not ready, and it's extremely difficult to teach pee-pee awareness to a child who has an almost complete unawareness of discomfort (unless it's boogers, which he can now go after with great veracity, or eye crusties, which he treats in the same manner.) The kid has never let us know when he was wet or if he has pooped, despite his amazing ability to create poop by the bushel.

(Seriously, if we could get him pooping daily, I think we could sell fertilizer.)

Sooo, yesterday we started "Flopping free after 3." I'm hoping that by losing the diaper and having him pee in his undies, he'll figure out wet=pee=potty and dry=YAY. So far, we got nada. But, it's only day two...

I say Dax hasn't learned anything yet, but his mother sure has! I'm including a non-comprehensive list below.

Things I've learned during Flopping Free After 3:

1.) Dax could have a squishy, stinky micro-preemie in his underwear and not care.
2.) Poop is much easier to clean up when it lands in a diaper.
3.) Dax and Ty can have fun in any puddle, anywhere. Even in the kitchen.
4.) I love my new steam mop!
5.) Carpet is new on my list of things I despise, somewhere between wallpaper and pedophiles.
6.) Little boy weiners do not stay tucked away in tighy-whities (or tighty-blueys or tighty-reddys or tighty-stripies or tighty grayies or tighty-elmoies, or any of the other types of underwear he peed all over today) the way that I thought they would. At least 3 times today he came walking towards me with an unexpected turtle head sticking out of the elastic band. It would be disturbing were it not so funny.
7.) Dax will fall off his potty chair 100% of the time when he tries to take off his undies while perched on the seat.
8.) There will come a time in every mother's life that she will have to say "Don't eat your waffles off the toilet."
9.) The toilet bowl is a handy storage space for all your brother's toys.
10.) Tiny little boy butts are sooooooooooo cute in big boy underwear!

Here's hoping that he catches on quick, because I may not be brave enough to try this again until he's 10!


Nikki Cupcake said...

aw! i think that's the cutest potty training post in any blog i've ever read

and i'm on the same page as you are w/ carpet.... i'm moving into a new house in a few weeks and i'm having all the carpet ripped up and replaced with hardwood floors before i even move in, carpet doesn't seam to work well with kids in or out of diapers

Cyndi Hendrickson said...

Hilarious, cute, gross, sweet! I feel for you. Good luck, hon!