Holy crap

So it hits me the other day that, holy crap, we're about to have a baby. A real, crying, eating, take-it-home-from-the-hospital-after-it's-born baby, and despite my intentions of keeping him inside me until he's old enough to talk and be potty trained, odds are he'll be popping out in a few weeks instead.

Holy crap.

So I have spent a little less than nine months doing everything I know to NOT have a baby, and now it's time for him to come and we don't have anything prepared! Apparently I'm supposed to have a bag packed, and so should Shep, and I should be taking classes and learning my breathing and... Here I am with nothing packed, nothing learned, and not even a homecoming outfit or a crib for Ty.

I guess I have some reading and shopping to do... Fast. Holy crap.

I've been thinking a lot about how unprepared I was my last pregnancy since I realized how unprepared I am this pregnancy. Thankfully this time around it's a different breed of unprepared, but this time I have no excuse... Last time when I realized something was wrong, Shep and I sped to the hospital with the clothes on our backs and nothing more, and not a clue as to what to expect or any inkling of the events that were ahead of us. I remember having contractions every 3 minutes as I was riding in the ambulance to the hospital that would be our home for the next 8 and a half months, and the paramedic telling me to stop holding my breath, that I needed to breathe... He implied I should have learned that in my Lamaze classes... Which I reminded him are not recommended until the 7th month of pregnancy... So he showed me how to breathe through my contractions... Hope breathing techniques are the same for 8-lb babies as they are for 1-lb babies, because I never got around to taking classes this time either. Holy crap.

There were no laboring positions for me to ease the pain... I was on my side or my back for 18 hours trying to NOT have a baby. Then I was on my side or my back for the next 12 days trying NOT to have a baby... Apparently there are labor positions to ease pain and help get the baby out? Who knew? A squatting bar? Really?

There were no epidurals or spinals or anything last time around. They needed me to feel and to know what was going on... So I know all about what "natural childbirth" with itty bitty babies is all about... What about big babies? To anesthetize or not to anesthetize... That is the question... And I don't know the answer yet.

To my credit, Dax was born folded like a taco butt-first, and a 1-lb baby in that position has to be the equivalent of a much bigger baby, right? Right???

And there's so much more. Sooo much more!

And then after he's born he'll come home? And take bottles? And cry? No monitors? Holy crap.

Long story short, I may have a little more applied knowledge now of labor and delivery, but I still "don't know nuthin bout birthin no babies." And we don't know nuthin bout takin care of no "normal" babies. We're soooo thankful! But...

Holy crap.